A Blood Matter

img_4747Traffic in Taipei, Taiwan. Sharp, fast, and cutting, just like the language that cascaded from my mother’s younger cousins’ lips. Both were women in their late fifties, although, judging by the buoyancy of their motions and appearances, I’d have placed them at least a decade younger. Quick to speak, slow to age.

Juxtapositions, in fact, pervaded the scene. Like modern pagodas, symmetrical buildings lined the wide roads, casting a defiant tidiness amidst the metropolitan congestion. Colorful bike lanes, pedestrian pathways, and traffic markings, courteously pasted on the smooth streets themselves, offset the storefront windows and LED screens that brazenly flashed, endlessly. A subtle, atmospheric orderliness dimmed the urban chaos. Old Backstreet Boys hits drifted from my cousin’s car speakers.

The sun would set in a few short hours. Tucked behind the vehicle’s protective windows, time seemed not to make a difference. Red light. Stop. To our left, elderly Taiwanese practiced t’ai chi in one of the city’s abundant public parks. To our right, a coffin shop, its heavy wooden caskets poised with lids wide open, as if mocking the aging men and women across the street. A muffled, disgusted noise escaped from the seat next to me. “Ergh.” My mother had seen it, too.

We had just met her birth family. I watched her cringe. Continue reading “A Blood Matter”

Elephant Journal Feature: How Imagination Saved Me

Hello, dear readers. I’m elated to share that I’ve been featured on Elephant Journal, an online publication which, according to their mission statement, is “dedicated to bringing together those working (and playing) to create enlightened society.”

I’ve written about the innate POWER of your imagination and creativity, how it can be used as an effective tool for growing out of unwholesome patterns and feelings of stagnancy:

“Some people say we’re all like insignificant specks of dust floating in space, but I’d venture to say that imagination is vaster than all the cosmos. Our process is creative and the universe is our oyster.” Continue reading “Elephant Journal Feature: How Imagination Saved Me”

What the Island Softly Spoke (Taipei, Taiwan)

What the Island Softly Spoke (Taipei, Taiwan)

 “You’re going to the motherland!” my friend, Sarah, exclaimed, as if plugging into the outward excitement I’d expressed just days earlier. I smiled, contorting my face to mirror the mixture of jubilation and understanding evident on her own. Behind brightened eyes and the upward crescent of my lips, however, a heavy, internal sensation had already settled in, eluding observation.

In twilight, the moon’s white face always has a dark side. Continue reading “What the Island Softly Spoke (Taipei, Taiwan)”

Meditate on Water, Become 65% More Conscious

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More rain, more beauty, more life given. Let’s not forget the water in our own bodies, ceaselessly flowing and ebbing with the gravitational pulls of everything around us. Like the moon controls the tides, so do the influences we choose to surround ourselves with. Be conscious; fill your environment with that which fulfills you, which lifts you up and keeps you Whole. Right placement can sometimes mean everything.  [ 24 June, 2016 ]

A few months ago, I posted this photograph on Instagram. At the time, I’d been celebrating the coming of rainy season in Thailand, a result of monsoons sweeping from the southwest, all the way from India. The preceding weeks had been blanketed in a heavy haze of blazing sun, little wind, and scorching temperatures that rarely dipped below 40°C (104°F) during the daytime. Rain in the northern part of the country was scarce evinced, threatening farmers with intense and fatal drought conditions. Continue reading “Meditate on Water, Become 65% More Conscious”

Lapis Lazuli

Lapis Lazuli

Something happened today. I’ve been back in Chiang Mai, the city where I currently live, for a few days. For one week, I’d participated in another Qigong retreat on the island of Bali, Indonesia.

“I have something for you,” she said in greeting, my friend’s eyes shining. In a few minutes, she’d begin teaching her Sunday morning yoga class. Entering the studio room, I chose a spot just off center, welcoming the opportunity to settle. My friend had recently made her own return, having traveled the week before to India, where she regularly participates in volunteer-based yoga service projects. Moving across the room, she kneeled beside me and unfolded her palms. Continue reading “Lapis Lazuli”

Don’t React

Don’t React

Hello, from Bali, Indonesia!

Well, Ubud, to be exact. I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve connected, and I suppose it’s laughable to finally feel ready, a few countries from Thailand, to share how I’ve been settling in. What can I say? Chiang Mai is my home base. It’s where I wake up every morning, where friends are, a city whose sights, sounds, and situations continue to nourish me. In the first month or so, I met resistances within myself, fought them, and let them go. And now, I’m committed to simply being, studying, and cultivating awareness with each new resistance that comes, each step of the way. Continue reading “Don’t React”

I Am In the Right Place

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Happy Valentines Day, from Chiang Mai! Thank you for all the love and support you’ve shown this past week. In my last post, I wrote about trusting my heart and the heartbreak that ensued, full-on, during my first few days in Thailand. I admitted to you, readers, the blunt yet ubiquitous edge of vulnerability that pervaded my experience as I settled into what was, essentially, a new life. Somehow, I had expected myself to settle flawlessly into another culture, manage the 15 hour time difference, find a temporary home, reconnect with friends and acquaintances, create, write, and explore, while concurrently committing to a fluid program of Qigong study with no beginning or end. Needless to say, I got sick. I got scared. I found myself struggling against the powerful current of life here I had fallen in love with just a few months ago. And, in my exposed state, I concentrated all of my fears on a single person. Continue reading “I Am In the Right Place”

On Vulnerability, From Halfway Across the World

On Vulnerability, From Halfway Across the World

Whew. Hello!

As of writing, it is Monday, February 8th, 2016 – the first day of the Chinese New Year. I’ve only been in Chiang Mai for 4 full days and feel as if time has passed both incredibly fast and painstakingly slowly since departing Los Angeles, nearly a week ago. I can’t even begin to coherently describe my experience since arriving here because, in 96 hours, I have been graced with the comfort and calmness of familiarity, yet simultaneously thrust into heartbreak, confusion, and loss. Top that off with a toppling fever that left me paralyzed and bedridden for nearly 11 hours (I’m still recovering, as of this morning). Sounds dramatic; and you know, it both is and isn’t. Continue reading “On Vulnerability, From Halfway Across the World”

Samskara: Unearthing the Scars that Limit Us

photo-1444065933550-8dbbf6cd69cdIn a previous post, I proposed meditation as a living practice, one that may be embodied in every interaction we undertake with the world. Finding beauty, connection, and stillness in the busyness that can often feel inseparable from our existence. Meditative moments are essential in stepping back and assessing, with clarity, the stories we have written for ourselves. Such stories can consist of anything from five-year plans to grocery lists and, once written, have the potential to dictate our lives.

For instance, let’s say I decide to become a “vegetarian.” Like others on this path, I have personal reasons for making this decision. I have written the story of my vegetarian identity, which I can use to explain my dietary preference to others. However, it is when I lose the true essence of my intention that I allow this vegetarian script to run on autopilot: I might think, speak, and eat in ways no longer because I consciously choose to, but because I have let them become prerecorded. I use the example of dietary choice, in particular, because of a comment a friend once made about his own food identity: “I don’t drink or eat meat. It might change, but that’s where I’m thriving right now. I’m not straight-edge or a vegetarian – I’m just a human being.” Continue reading “Samskara: Unearthing the Scars that Limit Us”

Saying “Yes” in Chiang Mai

Last month, I lived in Chiang Mai, Thailand. The following is a window into the world I entered  – and will continue to explore upon my return just before the Chinese new year – while there.

If I had to use one phrase to sum up my November spent in Chiang Mai, it would have to be, “just say yes.” Saying “yes” became a daily practice as I was given the opportunity, all too rare in life, to go about my days without an agenda. Less than a week’s worth of clothes accompanied me across the globe, and I brought no laptop. My phone remained unused, except to jot down quick notes about the areas I visited and the people I met. Decisions about what to wear, where I needed to go, or what had to be achieved were, for the most part, erased from my mental sphere. I was free to experience each moment as something beautiful in itself, if I allowed it. Continue reading “Saying “Yes” in Chiang Mai”